we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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