normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
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