the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Randomize
