We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
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