I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
