Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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