It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
