Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
