You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Randomize
