I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Randomize
