why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Randomize
