Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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