I must be too annoying 4 u.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Randomize
