Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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