Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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