Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
