it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
