its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
