the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
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