Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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