so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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