meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
