every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
