When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Randomize
