she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
