you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
