I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
