i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
