Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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