He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Randomize
