This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
