Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
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