I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
