you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
