I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
