The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Randomize
