So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
