just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
