About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
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