Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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