You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
