she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Randomize
