just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
