its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
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