: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
It's shark week go big or go home
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize