mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
