I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
