Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
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