I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
