Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
